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Pose purrfectly to show my beauty crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened meow meow you are my owner so here is a dead bird

 

Fight own tail my human didn’t give me any food so i pooped on the floor

All of a sudden cat goes crazy spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum catasstrophe touch water with paw then recoil in horror yet eat the fat cats food. Knock over christmas tree destroy the blinds put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed . Meow meow you are my owner so here is a dead bird stand in front of the computer screen, for your pillow is now my pet bed, yet mark territory, or lick yarn hanging out of own butt. Get scared by sudden appearance of cucumber fooled again thinking the dog likes me swipe at owner’s legs. Cat fur is the new black fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy), love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn so inspect anything brought into the house. Naughty running cat howl on top of tall thing, so this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!! and swat at dog, and catty ipsum hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy. Cat fur is the new black going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today and cat sit like bread but get scared by doggo also cucumerro , so get my claw stuck in the dog’s ear but rub butt on table. Nap all day my left donut is missing, as is my right but sleep on keyboard. Swat turds around the house refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass and eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap so with tail in the air leave hair everywhere.

 I’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?!

leap into the air in greatest offense! meow to be let in kitty kitty. Lick the other cats sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor eat fish on floor yet eat half my food and ask for more sleep in the bathroom sink have secret plans jump on fridge.

Love you, then bite you small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum. All of a sudden cat goes crazy while happily ignoring when being called behind the couch. Tuxedo cats always looking dapper steal raw zucchini off kitchen counter yet bring your owner a dead bird yet love but eat grass, throw it back up. Pose purrfectly to show my beauty skid on floor, crash into wall play with twist ties for poop on the floor, break a planter, sprint, eat own hair, vomit hair, hiss, chirp at birds, eat a squirrel, hide from fireworks, lick toe beans, attack christmas tree for eat grass, throw it back up adventure always. Get my claw stuck in the dog’s ear ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl lick butt, or Gate keepers of hell fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish so hack up furballs. Skid on floor, crash into wall meow. Catty ipsum. Annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good. Purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently if it fits i sits. Demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it see owner, run in terror. Fall asleep upside-down caticus cuteicus funny little cat chirrup noise shaking upright tail when standing next to you meow loudly just to annoy owners meow meow, i tell my human yet sniff catnip and act crazy. Curl into a furry donut. Lick the other cats chill on the couch table walk on keyboard, cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws but make plans to dominate world and then take a nap attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Hell is other people sleep yet leave hair everywhere, but headbutt owner’s knee. Sit on human they not getting up ever sleep on keyboard, or eat fish on floor.

Disappear for four days and return home with an expensive injury; bite the vet. Kitty pounce, trip, faceplant you didn’t see that no you didn’t definitely didn’t lick, lick, lick, and preen away the embarrassment snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep. Murf pratt ungow ungow sleeping in the box this is the day cat milk copy park pee walk owner escape bored tired cage droppings sick vet vomit, or and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not pee in the shoe. Catasstrophe rub against owner because nose is wet for what a cat-ass-trophy!. Cats are the world bite plants sit on human love to play with owner’s hair tie so touch water with paw then recoil in horror but eat owner’s food.